What music can I not regret louder than?
First ever casting call tomorrow.
Being a human is weird.
Getting offered a fair hourly wage for something I was doing for free right when I was starting to feel under-appreciated and money-stressed =
Like how once someone told me that when you get that random ringing in your ears it is actually the last time you are ever going to hear that particular pitch—how it is that sound leaving you. I don’t remember who told me that, but I got older and found it wasn’t true. The times when my ears ring still feel like dark and spacious vacuums. These times you will still find me at my quietest, trying to relish and memorize, trying to fight the strangest twinge of loneliness, of anticipated missing. Inevitably trying ignore the counting up of every sound that’s left me, of trains of thought that leave me wondering if I could even recognize a thing once it is truly gone.
Made up of what the world forgave me for being when I had asked no forgiveness
And in the beginning, there was detox. We were what was thrown from the lungs of nothingness as it sputtered and shook in the night, as it found a fresh start—as it found goodness again, apart from us.